Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Rain Rain go away

Okay, I am kidding, but being used to Oregon, the rain here seems to depress me more. Part of the problem I think is that it is not user friendly, when it rains here, it really rains, and it is almost depressing in nature because it captures you into the space you are in creating a prison, why in Oregon when it rains you are not as scared of it, maybe because in Oregon the rains are gentle and here they are harsh and much harder in comparison.

Coming to Israel is an emotional roller coaster, up and down and up and down, and right now I feel like I am in a downward slope. 2 days ago it felt like winter was gone, and now it is back.

We are in the process of making decisions that are going to lock us down in ways that I am not sure that I want, but none of this is easy.

What is so amazing is when you go down emotionally it is completely chemical and 2 hours later you can be just fine, right now I am not feeling like it is going to be a 2 hour thing, but one never knows.

I got into a fight today with the Rebbizin that runs the gan over post dated checks. She asked for them and I refused. Then she pushed, and that was a really stupid idea, she thought she could play the nice grandmother stupid oleh line on me, and I just said no.

The fact is I am stubborn, more stubborn then I want to admit some days and when you get me backed up against a way I will fight rather then back down, and it is not a rational fight, but try telling my mind that. Some times I look back at these fights and just wonder what was going on, some times I know that Orville my grandfather is alive and well in my head, and other times when I get stuborn, it is a good thing, it is my subconcous saying do not get pushed around, and it keeps me out of trouble.



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